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Caroline James

 Greetings!

 

      My name is Caroline James.

​

                 And I

         am a soul 

  that will not negotiate â€‹

       anyone

  in humanity.

​

   I will not negotiate

            you,

                 me,

         my oppressed

            ancestors,

​

  or even those

     in humanity,

who are yet to come.   

​

     When I say everyone,

        I mean everyone. 

​

    At first blush,

            these words

             may seem

       flowery and sweet,

​

       but my "talk" 

  is anything but cheap.

​

                 To live

        by such convictions,

      is terribly expensive. â€‹

​​

          I'll never forget

        when I turned 30;

 

     I was faced with a set

    of scary new crossroads

         on the journey

   towards living my convictions. 

​

         And to this day,

      I still cannot believe

        how my life

      immediately

    and irrevocably

changed.

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        Bill and Melinda Gates 

              were funding 

      my graduate education

 at the University of Cambridge.

​

   And everything

     was included,

        down to the flight 

               to England. 

​

             With this,

       I'd made history

      at  â€‹â€‹The University

        of Alabama;

​

    There'd only been

         two students

          to win this

  prestigious scholarship. 

 

                    And I

      was the first one to win

      who wasn't a white man. 

     

            Yes, indeed,

       this was the peak

of my academic career:

​

     a massive achievement, 

                for a kid

     who'd taught herself

           to read. 

 

     But this peak,

      like all others,

was also a descent. 

            

                   I graduated 

          with a distinguished award

              for my dissertation.

​

               And from there,

                 I embarked

       on a multi-year journey 

              of hospitalization; 

 

        I was trying to kill myself.

​

  And thus began my newest journey:

​

        a journey towards

     addressing the suffering

          of my inner world,

 

         while still committing 

      to addressing the suffering

          in the outer world. 

​

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​

As a passionate activist, 

​

     I was carrying the unresolved 

     ancestral traumas of humanity. 

 

   As a member 

of a dysfunctional

      family, 

​

     I was carrying the unresolved

          generational traumas 

              of my kin-folk. 

 

        And as

the cherry on top,

​

      I was carrying

       a whole host

of my own unresolved

and complex traumas; 

       â€‹

      the types of traumas

        that cause a child, 

     born in a rich country,

           

         to need to teach

     themselves how to read. 

 

                So when I say,

​

               I believe

      in humanity's capacity 

       to face trauma

   with truth and love,

​

          my words are expensive 

           and my convictions

               are hard earned. 

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      To save

and love my life, 

​

      I have gone

into the dark night;

​

I have fought every demon 

     hell sent my way.

 

               And for

       the Garden of Eden,

​

              that is my

                  mind,

                  body,

                 heart

              and soul,​

​

      it has all been worth it. 

   

           I've fucked the storm

           and birthed a refuge. 

​

                  I'm da' mammy 

                 and da' pappy,

      of my own R(evolution)s.

​​

              Welcome, to 

"The Notes Of A Sojourner:"

​

       the creative world 

 of my heart, mind and soul.

​

             You are entering

             sacred grounds;

​        ​

                my art faces 

        the traumas of humanity 

           with indestructible, 

         love, faith, and truth. 

​

        Because I believe in our capacity

            to heal and transform:

​

​                over and over again.  

​​​​​​

Ever in Love and Solidarity,

Caroline James

The Sojourner

 â€‹â€‹

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